With a Special Child 
18, 2002 - by Lucy Test, Sim Dale
month you met our free lance, Lucy Test, sharing experiences from
her own life. Her true story is continnued next month.
a r t t
w o : A
n e w b
a b y
Jack was just ten months
old when I discovered I was pregnant again. Part of me was excited
and part of me was scared. Jack’s birth had been so traumatic I was
afraid of what would happen, I was also scared for my baby. I adored
Jack, but I didn’t think I could cope with another child with the same
difficulties. Alex and I spent a lot of time talking and we decided
that whatever happened we would love this child the same way we loved Jack.
When I was 11 weeks pregnant
I started bleeding. Alex took me to the hospital while my mother
watched Jack. I was so afraid I was going to lose the baby.
Dr Lockwood, my obstetrician, kept me in hospital for a few days and the
bleeding stopped. Thankfully both my baby and I were going to be
Going home to Jack was difficult.
Because of the pregnancy I was tired a lot and Jack still wasn’t sleeping
through the night, I gave up work because I was so exhausted all the time.
This meant money was tight and we had to move into a smaller home.
I hated leaving our lovely house to move into a small six-room house, but
I knew it was for the best, and we’d still have enough space for the new
August 21st was Jack’s first
birthday and we had a party for him, just a few friends and our families.
Jack loved the party, all the people and colours to look at. He ate
so much cake we thought it was going to start coming out of his ears.
We bought him a train set for him and although he couldn’t really play
with it himself, he loved to watch it. He’d sit on the rug and point
at the train saying “choo-choo”. We were soon to discover it was
something he loved, trains. We decorated his room with a Thomas the
Tank Engine theme and on Sundays Alex took him to the station, he loved
watching the tourist steam train leaving with it’s brightly coloured carriages.
Jack was fanatical about trains and would point to pictures of them in
books and clap his hands squealing with delight.
Just after Christmas we took
Jack on a train as a treat. When we got to the station his eyes lit
up and he clapped and was yelling “choo-choo ma-ma choo-choo” When
we actually got on the train, Jack was so excited, pointing at everything
and squealing. Jack got him out of his pram so he could sit on the
train seat and he was sitting there clapping his pudgy little hands together,
his eyes shining. That night at home Jack was watching his train
set when the train came of the rails. He started screaming and although
Alex put the train back, he kept screaming. I held him and hugged
him to try and quieten him but still he screamed pointing at the train
set. “What do you want sweetie” I said, talking to myself more than
him. “Jack train ma-ma” he said. “You want the train darling?” I sat him
on the floor again and to my amazement my little boy slowly got to his
feet and took three steps before falling on his bottom. It was one
of the proudest moments of my life.
April 15th our second son Adam Nathaniel was born. The labour was
easy and uncomplicated and Adam weighed in at a huge 8lbs 9ozs, more than
2lbs heavier than Jack had been. He had the same dark hair and big
brown eyes. I watched him sleeping and I knew that he was another
precious child. No feeling in the world is stronger than the love
a mother feels for her child.
We took Adam home from the
hospital when he was two days old. Jack was very unsure of the baby
and became very clingy, always wanting to be held. We knew he was
likely to be jealous, but we didn’t expect him to react the way he did.
He screamed even more, almost all the time, except when he was asleep or
when Alex or I were holding him. It was very hard for us both, always
trying to sooth Jack and take care of Adam at the same time. I started
to resent Alex for going out to work, able to leave the children at home
for a while. We started fighting and I can honestly say it was one
of the most difficult times of my life. If they were left alone together
Jack would pinch and bite Adam, which meant they had to be watched 24 hours
a day. Dr Mele suggested we needed to show Jack that he was still
loved and wanted. We made sure we took time to spend time with Jack
without Adam around, and covered him in kisses and hugs. We told
him he was very special to us and reassured him we still loved him and
slowly, he started to accept Adam. Alex and I were still fighting
and he moved to his parents in July. I was heartbroken, I still loved
him very much and wanted to be with him, but things were very difficult
between us. I was always tired which meant I was often cross and
snapped at him for nothing.
Just before Christmas Alex
moved back in with us and we became a family again. Things are difficult
still but I know we can get through all this.
In June, just before Jack’s
third birthday our daughter Natalie Louise was born.
To be continnued.